Their eyes met. He smiled. She stared, star-struck. A lock of hair fell over his brow. She pushed it away. They clasped hands as they walked into the sunset. (Swoon!)
The credits rolled, and I was speechless. I’d just witnessed such perfect, spotless romance in surround sound. I’d seen such adoring, unashamed love and devotion. Oh, to be loved by a guy like that! To be held in the never-failing arms of my Prince Charming!
I sat transfixed, slowly awakening to reality. I wasn’t walking into the sunset hand in hand with my knight in shining armor. I was sitting in a chair in my living room by myself. My fairytale came crashing to the ground. The movie credits were over and I got up to get ready for bed, but I wasn’t in the mood for sleep. I lay awake, dreaming about my Prince Charming, somewhere out there.
Handsome. Check.
Strong. Check.
Absolutely wonderful. Double check.
I couldn’t wait for the day when I would finally meet him, marry him, have walk-into-the-sunset moments with him. But how long would it be? Years and years?
This train of thought has put me to sleep many a night.
What will he look like?
Is it someone I currently know?
How handsome will he be?
Instead of counting sheep, I counted wishes for a storybook romance epic enough for movie material. Somehow, over time, I had awakened a longing in my heart for the moment when I would finally be loved by a handsome guy. I daydreamed about what it would be like to finally have someone love me unconditionally. I wanted devotion. I wanted admiration. I wanted obsession. I wanted what I read in love stories, heard in the lyrics of love songs, and saw in the romance of couples in film.
What I didn’t realize is that each time I gave in to that feeling of longing and let myself picture how happy and fulfilled my Prince Charming would make me, I was feeding something inside me—an overpowering, intoxicating desire, one that would grow to nearly uncontrollable size if I didn’t do something to stop it. I was doing exactly what God’s Word warns me not to do.
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem . . . that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases (Song of Solomon 3:5).
This is a bride talking, but here’s the incredible thing: This plea from one bride to younger women comes twice in Song of Solomon, and in both cases, the advice comes right after a passionate show of love, after a romantic moment with her bridegroom.
Why? Because this bride is experiencing the joy of unblemished, untainted love. She’s learned from her own experience how precious it is to be innocent and pure, to have kept this passion safe and locked up for her future husband, not distributed from boyfriend to boyfriend, wasted on one crush then another.
We can assume she knows the temptation; she knows how easily love is awakened. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have felt the need to repeatedly share the same advice. She has seen how easily the heart is stirred to passion but has refused to let her heart carry her away. Instead, she has saved up all her passionate affection for her future husband, and when they are united, their romance is that much more lovely because she has kept it sacred.
So how is this love awakened, and how do we keep it from being stirred into action before its time? Let’s look at three major ways to keep our hearts unstirred.
1. Don’t feed it.
What causes your heart to flutter? What awakens your desire for romantic love?
One thing that stirs up discontent and longing in me is romance novels. You know the story: Two guys are both in love with the beautiful maiden, and she can’t decide which one she likes. Then guy number one turns into a creep, so she runs away with guy number two and they kiss and live happily ever after. My heart takes wings and gets so stirred up that everything just dissolves and turns into a romance-craving mess.
But watching romance films or reading romance novels that awaken discontentment and longing in your heart while trying to keep your mind where it should be is like fighting a battle while giving the enemy weapons. It’s like treading water when you could be swimming to shore.
2. Memorize Scripture.
The Word of God is powerful and can scare off the flaming darts Satan loves to throw your way. Here are two verses I’d encourage to memorize. (The first will sound familiar!)
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases (Song of Solomon 3:5).
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me (Psalm 51:10).
Write these verses on cards, and stick them on your mirror. When Satan tempts you to succumb to daydreams and romantic fantasies, be ready with a verse to throw right back at him.
3. Ask God to fulfill your desires.
God offers us something bigger and better than a fairytale ending. He is the only One who can ever really fulfill us. Until we are completely fulfilled in Him, we can never be truly happy. If we find our worth and value in Him, than we don’t have to depend on daydreams to get us through the day. We can rest in Him, knowing He is our ultimate satisfaction.
How awesome it would be to be able to say, years down the road, “I did not stir up or awaken love until it was time!” What can you do to keep your heart unstirred as you wait for God’s plan for you to unfold?
By Liza Proch
