We were sitting around the kitchen table and my oldest daughter, who is 8, started talking about a boy named Anthony.
Apparently, he likes her.
Apparently, she likes him back.
I was curious to know what this meant in an 8 year-old’s mind and so I started with something I thought was harmless.
“Do you hold his hand?”“Ewww, Mom! No!”
Fabulous.
Somehow, the conversation steered toward her father and myself. And somehow we got onto the subject of kissing. And somehow I opened my way too big of a mouth and said, “Yes, I kissed a few boys before I met your father.”
[Insert very shocked 8 year-old look.]
And then somehow, my husband let it slip that we kissed on the first date.
I do not want my daughter kissing on the first date.
But this whole conversation really got me thinking. If she doesn’t know about my life (at some point – we need to keep the conversations developmentally appropriate), how can she use my mistakes to at least be a deterrent before she makes her mistakes?
I firmly believe that one way that God redeems our sins, our failures, and our mistakes is by allowing others to learn from them, too.
I’ve put together this list of five things I think that our girls should know about us (remember, at some point) so that we can have real authentic conversations with our daughters. Because I honestly believe, also, that if we expect and desire for them to be real with us, we need to expect and desire to be real with them. *
- KISSING. When was the first time you kissed a boy? Looking back, how did you feel about it then? How do you feel about it now? Are you happy with your decision or would you go back and do it differently? Why?
- FOOD. What kind of food habits did you have when you were growing up? What have you learned with regards to food? Do you struggle? How does your relationship with food affect your self-image?
- MEAN GIRLS & BULLIES. Did you have “mean girls” in your life? Were you a “mean girl?” How did you cope? What made you a “mean girl?”
- FRIENDSHIPS. What friends do you have now that have been a part of your life for a very long time? What qualities does this person have that has made her a keeper?
- SEX. What did you think about sex in high school? In college? Just before you were married? How do these viewpoints differ from the one you have now? If you had sex before you were married, what were the emotional burdens that came with that?
Which of these seems the most daunting? Why? Which one do you think will be a breeze?
Written By Jen Ferguson
