The Wall Street Journal’s recent article, The Big Squeeze, got me thinking. I graduated almost three years ago from St. Olaf College in Northfield, MN, and I like to say that my friends and I are successfully on our way to running the world…but that sure doesn’t come without some financial burdens. Whether it’s paying for med-school or law school, trying to be the next “Mother Theresa,” or simply not finding a job because of the state of the economy, 20-year-olds these days need more financial help than they ever have before.
My name is Kayla, and I am a slice of bread. To be specific, I am one of two book-ending slices of bread that my parents worry about supporting, the other being my grandparents and other elderly relatives.
You see, my parents live a life in limbo as members of the “Sandwich Generation” — a generation of adults who care for their aging parents, while still supporting their adult children. A recent survey done by Pew Research Center reported that “almost half (48%) of adults ages 40 to 59 provided some financial support to at least one grown child in the past year—with 27% providing the primary support,” according to the survey. That’s not a small amount!
I’ve learned a lot in my 25 years… but one of the most important things I’ve learned are these 7 phrases I probably shouldn’t ever say to my parents:
1. “I have no food. Mom, Dad—what’s for dinner? And do you have any wine?”
2. “I’m trying to save up to move out, but the new job is 10 minutes from where I grew up, so it’s only convenient to stay…”
3. “Washing the dishes can pay for my rent, right? Okay, I’ll move home.”
4. “Mom, Dad–we’re moving home! We figure it’s easier than paying for childcare, and you want time with your grandkids, right?”
5. “I really need a vacation. Can I come on yours?”
6 “There’s almost an expectation that I’ll move back home at some point, and there is no stigma attached.”
Admittedly, and because I know my dad will probably read this, I have been known to say one or more of these in my past. While reading these phrases, you probably notice that none of these are statements made to my parents out of need, but rather, arise out of want. However, if someday I really do need the help, I know that my parents would drop anything to be there for me. For that, I am very grateful.
Unfortunately, I guess that really does make me…a slice of bread.
What other things have you said to your parents before that you probably shouldn’t have?
Written by Kayla Johnson
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