Question
I’ve been thinking a lot about forgiveness and boundaries. Do you think there are instances when complete separation is necessary (even with family) if the behavior is constant and not acknowledged? Does that make the person who set the boundary unforgiving?
Answer
Hi, my friend. Brilliant question.
I would say, no, there is no such thing as permanent separation or ‘complete separation.’
Clearly, there is an issue of toxic relationship that you must distance yourself from, even for an extended period of time. But, the heart of forgiveness is seeking and peeking back in to see how things are going and what God has done.
Permanent, or complete suggests that we close and lock the door.
The separation may well be ‘complete’ in the sense of ‘I can’t talk about this right now’ and temporary, but complete disconnect of dialogue, for a time (that’s merely a longer version of a time out), but as far as complete severing of a relationship, no I’m not a fan of that and don’t think that it upholds what forgiveness is about.
Obviously, there are times when we need to forgive someone who has passed away and the disconnect is real and permanent. that is a different story.
