There are certain words that seem to convey more emotion than others while carrying connotations almost impossible to express.
As we near our first anniversary as foster parents, I would add “Mommy” to this list.
When we first welcomed a long-term placement into our home, I did not have a moniker preselected. On their first night, I introduced myself as Jennifer but told the girls they were free to call me Jennifer, Jen, Jen Jen, or “anything else you think would suit.”
I will never forget the glee from the second-grader when she announced, “I’m going to call you Kaitlyn!”
We settled on J.J., and that stuck for a couple of weeks until peer pressure from our three biological children seemed to lead them to join the crowd in simply crying, “Mooooom” when they needed my attention.
A month or so later, as I was tucking them in bed one night, one of the girls lovingly hugged me and whispered, “You are the third-best mommy I’ve ever had.”
I couldn’t help but giggle. Third-best. Once again, foster parenting had trampled my pride.
And more recently, as we process through next steps in permanency with our girls, I have been struck with the barbed retort to discipline, “You aren’t my real mommy anyway.”
It is true. I am not the “real” mommy, but I am their “right now” mommy … with hugs, meals, encouragement, correction and all the responsibilities and joys that it brings.
I pray that God is using this time to redeem, reframe and redefine the role of “Mommy” for these girls, trusting that whether I’m “real,” “third-best” or “right now,” the Lord will use me as a vessel to show them His love and care.
-- Jennifer Scott
