People who know me know that I’ve endured many hardships in my life. As difficult as I’ve had it, I know deep in my heart that my life could’ve been much worse – because I’ve seen others who’ve had it (life) a lot worse.
Having survived and endured abuse, addiction, poverty, the death of loved ones, violence, divorce, insecurity and the effects of alcoholism (just to name a few), I’ve been blessed to have had the unconditional support of my family through all of my trials and tribulations — even when I didn’t always appreciate them. Because as I suffered through the hurt and pain of my life, I soon discovered that hurting people (who don’t seek help) usually turn around and hurt others or even themselves — and in my case both.
Picking up the pieces from all the hurtful mistakes you’ve made and the people you’ve hurt is a burden I wouldn’t wish on any person. But “staying the course” after you’ve “changed direction” can be equally as challenging. Trust me, I know. With that being said, I want to address a topic I know is close to a lot of men’s hearts after they’ve “turned their lives around” and are now trying to “live right” and grow spiritually and emotionally as mature men.
See, I’ve struggled with my own spiritual growth (still do), having lost my way on several occasions. But I thank God for His mercy and His grace. No matter which direction we choose to go in life, God mercifully allows us to make U-turns (before we hit “dead ends”). And for that, I’m eternally grateful.
During one of the toughest moments in my “spiritual re-growth,” God revealed to me a plan (more like a “formula”) to help me get out of my rut, back on track, and at the same time, stay the course. I want to share with you that formula, and hopefully, it helps you “find you way” back home if you ever lose your way. It’s simple to understand, but often difficult to apply.
Here it is…
1. Surrender
2. Submit
3. Pray
4. Obey
That’s it. Simple, huh? Well, allow me to explain each step as you see how you can apply it to your life.
First, when I was at my lowest point (emotionally and spiritually), I found myself saying things like, “God I’m trying to do the best I can, but I keep falling and failing. It just seems like I can’t do (make) it.” That’s when God spoke to my heart and said, “Good Joe, NOW I can help you.” See, God was waiting for me to SURRENDER my perceived control over the situation (my life). I had to realize that I couldn’t do it alone. I’ve tried on several occasions, and it just didn’t work. So I adopted this new phrase:
“God I can’t, but YOU can. Will you please help me?”
Once you do this, you’ll soon realize that the help you need will come in ways you’ve never imagined — through people, a change in your circumstances, new opportunities, opportune timing, etc. You just have to surrender.
Second, when I accepted the fact that I needed help and I couldn’t “fix things” alone, I realized that I had to take the next step: do it God’s way, not MY way. In otherwords, SUBMIT. See, as human beings, we don’t just want “things,” we want things “our” way. I had to accept the fact that God’s way is infinitely better than my way. So I had to adopt the following new phrase:
“God not MY will, but YOUR will be done; not MY way, but YOUR way; and not for my reasons, but for YOUR reasons.”
Third, knowing that I couldn’t do it alone and His way was better than mine, I found that I didn’t know HOW to carry out His will (it seemed so difficult). You can usually figure out when it’s God’s way – because you know it’s the right way, but it usually makes you uncomfortable doing it; because you’re not used to doing it His way. So again, I needed help. So I had to PRAY – and this is what I said, and still say:
“God, please give me the strength and show me HOW to do it YOUR way.”
Lastly, after surrendering, submitting, and praying, the answer was clear on what to do and what needed to be done. The only question left was, “Am I willing to do it?” I am sure you’ve heard the saying, “God will never do for you that which you can do for yourself.” He’ll show you the door or even pry it open for you, but YOU must make a decision to walk through it. I call this “action through obedience.” That’s why the toughest step is always the first one. After surrendering, submitting, and praying, I had to OBEY; so I said to God, boldly:
“Yes, I will…starting NOW! I will obey you.”
This process has never failed me. Like adding 2+2, it’s always going to be 4. However, the one thing I learned as I used this formula to climb out of deep spiritual holes in my life, is that this isn’t a one-time process…it’s a life-long process. I must do it over and over again whenever I see myself getting off the “straight and narrow” path of what I know is right.
I hope you find life in these words, and I hope you continue to seek truth that speaks to your Spirit.
