You probably have at least one thing happening in your life that involves trust. Something great. Something significant. Something that perhaps you don’t see possible in your current situation.
Maybe you need a financial breakthrough, a new job, or for that home to finally sell. Or more likely, you need something great and significant to happen in your relationships, but you ask yourself: Can I trust that other person? Can I trust myself to do what’s needed to turn things around?
Trust is one of those issues that can only be handled intentionally. When it comes to trust, action is always needed to move forward, no matter if you’ve been the recipient or the deliverer of broken trust.
Let’s say you’re experiencing a relationship that’s been divided by your betrayal of trust. Because you behave your way into a problem, you also need to behave your way out.
Trust is earned; it’s something another person gives to you. When you have robbed your spouse, child or friend of their ability to trust you, to demand that they immediately begin trusting you again just isn’t realistic. Find out what’s really important to them in the area where you’ve been unfaithful. Ask them, “What do I need to do to regain your trust?” Then faithfully and very intentionally, work to retain their trust by being absolutely trustworthy in your words and behaviors.
What if you’re the person struggling to overcome the hurt from having your trust betrayed by someone else? You need to forgive the other person – completely and unconditionally. Impossible, you say? Forgiving your spouse, child or friend for the hurt they caused is something you should, and can, do.
When you forgive:
- First, be specific in communicating exactly what you need to forgive. That will help you when you begin the process of forgiving.
- Second, recognize your emotions and let them assist you in clarifying your thoughts, helping you move ahead.
- Third, don’t be discouraged if it takes time for you to forgive. Forgiveness is often a daily, ongoing act requiring commitment and persistence.
