This is mommy confession time. I’ll be the first to admit my mistakes and take one for the team. I can reveal my “oopsie” mom moments that make me want to crawl under a table and wish that memory away. But no, it’s still there and life moves forward. The sting of reflecting is much worse on me than my kid. They barely remember the crazy. But it goes down in the history of Worst Mom Moves Hall of Fame.
I noticed the young EG moms sometimes post, worried and traumatized by a similar situation that happened and all I can say is, “Girl, it’s all good. You love your baby. You take good care of your tiny miracle. But sometimes in our sleep deprived states, we mess up and it stinks. You think you have scarred your kid for life … but no. They are resilient.”
So to all my young momma friends, I suck up my pride and start confession time. I have numbered my kids 1 through 4 to keep it straight (because I can’t ever seem to.)
• Once when kid #1 was 1 week old, I was nursing him in my bed. I was sitting up, propped up in bed against the wall (we had no headboard back then) and his head was in the crook of my arm, facing the edge of the bed. It was the middle of the night and I was beyond exhausted. Unbeknownst to me, I started falling asleep and my arm started slowly slipping down further and further and next thing I know, I hear a thud … and a wail. ONE WEEK. O.N.E. I hopped off the bed, even with my c-section stitches, and scooped him up and he almost immediately stopped crying but I balled for about an hour. It was AWFUL. He was so tiny and fragile and I couldn’t believe I let that happen. But then God reminded me that His grace is big and momma’s get grace too.
• Once #4 was only a few weeks old. My hubby had dropped off #1 and #2 at school while I slept in a little with #4. We woke up and got ready for the day. I had to run to the office for a bit to get some work done. I packed up #4 and got about 15 minutes down the road and had that sinking feeling … you know the one. The one where your heart drops down into your stomach and you suddenly can’t breathe. #1, 2 and 4 were accounted for … but what about #3? Revelations started flooding my thoughts as I quickly remembered that #3 didn’t have school that day. And she had overslept and was at back at the house in bed (or so I hoped). I turned the car as fast as I could, but had another 15 minutes of pure terror. Every thought ran through my mind, “What if she woke up and no one was home? Would she think the rapture happened? Would she think that we all forgot her? Would she try to go out the front door and down the street to look for us and a stranger pick her up? Freak out! I got home and she WAS awake. She was in her little cute 6-year old PJ’s sitting in my bed watching tv. I do what any mom would do and tried to play it cool and act like I had just come back inside from checking the mail or something … but she was smarter than that. “Mommy you left me. You forgot me. I looked everywhere for you and you were gone. I went into the backyard and a big monster was out there so I came back in and waited. I was so scared.” She had tears. UGGH! I gave her a giant hug and told her how sorry I was. She took me outside to show me the “monster” – it was our new grill with the black cover on it. Sad!
She actually still kind of remembers that one but she doesn’t seem too affected by it.
I drive around all the time, and occasionally my mind will wander about something non-kid related. And then my thoughts are suddenly interrupted by, “OMG I think I forgot a kid somewhere!!” … but most of the time I do a quick head count and realize all is right with the world and I am doing alright with this mom thing.
God has grace for our mess-ups and even if we sit our kids in front of the TV too long for the day because you just need some momma time. There is grace for that too.
What’s most important is that our kids feel our love and know their heavenly Father as #1 in the family. If you even feel mommy guilt, then that is because you do love them. But it’s ok to lay it aside and put our unrealistic standards of perfectionism aside. There is no way we can be perfect all the time. And knowing that, makes all the difference in the world.
Accept that free gift of grace. Keep loving on your babies and doing the best you can, knowing His strength is made perfect in our weakness. He will pick up where we can’t. He has our backs and lifts us back up when we fall. He is our Comfort and Support.
Embrace your Mommy Grace! Happy Mommies have Happy Babies.
So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus. {Ephesians 2:7}
