Read Matthew 26:69-75
Today, our reading only covers seven verses. This may be a small portion for us, but it represents a large chunk of Peter's spiritual and emotional journey. Earlier in this chapter, we read Jesus' devastating words to Peter. Words that said when the chips were down Peter would not prove tried and true, but weak and wavering. Words Peter denied immediately. We find now that this wasn't the only thing Peter denied on this night.
The long night had dragged by after the disciples had disbanded. We’re not told what became of the other 11 at this point in the story, but we do know about Peter. That, in itself, is quite interesting. But we'll get to that in a moment.
Now, Peter had been close to Jesus. While all of the disciples were special to Him, Peter seemed to stick his neck out the most. From boldly climbing out of the boat, to, on occasion, serving as spokesman for the 12, to an impromptu demonstration of his swordsmanship on a servant's ear; Peter's personality just naturally threw him into the spotlight. A spotlight that, on this particular night, he didn’t want to have. Yes, Peter had been close to Jesus. And at this point in the story, that’s precisely where we find him.
John chapter 18 tells us that Peter followed so closely behind Jesus that he was actually admitted through a certain gate into the courtyard. And while Jesus was not far away, perhaps just inside a nearby building, He might as well have been in another country. Because although Peter was physically nearby, spiritually he was running the other way. And that's when it happened. He was recognized.
“You were one of those with Jesus,” a servant girl said to him. Immediately Peter said no, she was mistaken. Not long after this, it happened a second time – and again, it was from a servant girl. Can you see what's happening? Big, burly, spent-his-life-hauling-heavy-fishing-nets Peter, cowers at the accusation of a servant girl. Oh, how sin turns us from the unique individual God intended into a sniveling, fearful imitation. And as we know, Peter not only denied knowing Jesus this second time, he denied Him even a third – just in time for the break of dawn.
I wonder what was going through Peter's mind when he heard the rooster crow. We already have a pretty good idea. But what was Peter thinking? Just a few hours earlier he was a vital part of a renowned group of men. Now, he found himself standing all alone, at the dawn of his new life. Verse 75 tells us some of what he was thinking:
Suddenly, Jesus' words flashed through Peter's mind: "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." And he went away, crying bitterly. Matthew 26:75
Just when it appeared Jesus needed him the most, Peter deserted Him. Just when he had the perfect opportunity to follow through on his boastful strength, Peter got scared, and his spiritual muscles went limp. And he knew it.
So, what about Peter's story? What did he do after leaving the courtyard? We’re not told exactly what he did that day, but we do know what he did later. Have you ever wondered how this account of the worst moment in Peter's life made it into the details of the story, for all the world to know? That's right. Peter told it himself.
And as we’ll find later, after his long night of the soul, Peter had a new beginning. A beginning of confession and brokenness. A beginning of renewal and restoration.
A new beginning that is that is available to anyone who asks.
