Perception makes it so…or so we’re told.
According to this age-old truism, people don’t react to how the situation really is, but how they perceive the situation to be.
This is true, of course, in our marriages as well. Husbands and wives respond to each other based on their perceptions of the other’s actions in a particular moment.
Of course, our perceptions could be wrong. Most of us have been embarrassed by misreading a situation.
How many of us husbands have heard our wives call our names and think she was mad only to find out she was afraid (of the lizard in the bathroom)? It happens.
But here’s where perceptions gets a little scary. If the other PERCEIVES we’re not totally committed to the marriage, they’ll withdraw.
Now initially, this slight withdrawal is no big deal, but sort of like being one degree off course. The problem is easily correctable if addressed quickly. But left untended, the ship will be hopelessly off course—the marriage damaged beyond repair.
So, what does this mean?
Simply this: no matter what—no matter how tired, angry, or busy you are—your spouse HAS to know beyond any shadow of reasonable doubt that you’re totally committed to the marriage.
Sure, you might be angry. That’s fine. But even with that, you still have to let your husband or wife know you’ll be here after the anger has passed. You’ll be here when he comes home today—and the day after that and the day after that.
Whatever else you do today, be sure you do this: let your spouse know you’re in this marriage come hell or high water.
After all, that’s what our vows said, isn’t it? Sure, we said them a little more poetically than that, but that’s what we said.
Be sure you say it again today.
