“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid . . . this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.” 1 John 4:18 (NLT)
Insecurity ruins relationships. But when you open your life to others, even though they could potentially hurt you, you’ll come alive in ways you’ve never experienced before.
Why does insecurity ruin relationships? Because it prevents intimacy. You long to be close, but you also fear being close. You long to have intimacy with others, but it also scares you to death.
You can’t get close to someone if there’s fear in the relationship. This is why living with your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t work in the long run. There’s no lifetime commitment. You never know when somebody is going to walk out.
But fear vanishes and intimacy—real intimacy—rises when two people say, “We’re committed to each other, no matter what. We’re going to make this thing work.”
What do you fear in your relationships? Maybe you don’t want people to find out what you’re really like, so you hide yourself. This is the oldest fear, going all the way back to Adam, the first man. He said, “I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid” (Genesis 3:10 NIV).
When you’re afraid, you get insecure and hide who you are. You cover up, not just physically but also emotionally. You build walls around yourself and pretend to be someone you’re not.
But while insecurity ruins relationships, love builds them up. Love takes the focus off you and puts the focus on the other person. The Bible says in 1 John 4:18, “Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid . . . this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love” (NLT).
The only way to love others is to realize that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Suddenly, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone anymore, and your identity and self-worth aren’t caught up in what others think. Instead, they’re caught up in your relationship with Jesus.
You may have had some relational disasters in your life. In order to open up to others and fight insecurity, God wants you to first open up to Jesus. Let him fill you with his love so you can share it with others.
PLAY today’s audio teaching from Pastor Rick
Talk It Over
How have you seen insecurity harm a relationship?
Are you satisfied only in what God thinks of you and not what others think? Why or why not?
What does it look like practically to open yourself up to God’s love?
The first step in opening yourself to God’s love is to accept his salvation. No matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been, you’ve got a place in God’s forever family ready and waiting for you. The invitation is wide open. Just believe and receive.
Are you ready? Here’s a prayer you can start with: “Dear God, I know when I die, I’m going to give an account of my life to you. I know I have sinned against you, and I have lived by my plan, not yours. I want that to change, starting right now. I want to turn away from my sins and toward you.
“Thank you for sending Jesus to die for all that I’ve done wrong so that I don’t have to pay the penalty. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I know only your grace can save me, Lord. I could never be good enough to get into a perfect place.
“Jesus, thank you for loving me so much that you took all my guilt on yourself. You made me acceptable for heaven, and I ask you to forgive me and make me into someone who loves you and other people without fear. Thank you that you will keep your promise to save me instantly, certainly, completely, and eternally. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
If you prayed the prayer above, please write and tell me at Rick@PastorRick.com. I’d like to send you some materials as you begin your journey with Jesus.
This devotional © 2023 by Rick Warren. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Do you feel insecure in your relationships? Find out how God’s love can make all the difference in how you view others and yourself in today’s #DailyHope devotional.
Rick Warren Bio
Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church, one of America’s largest and most influential churches. Pastor Rick is the author of the New York Times bestseller The Purpose Driven Life. His book The Purpose Driven Church was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th century. Pastor Rick created The PEACE Plan to address the five global giants—spiritual emptiness, self-serving leadership, poverty, disease, and illiteracy—through the power of ordinary people in the local church. His Daily Hope broadcast and daily devotionals are offered around the world. You can listen to the broadcast or sign up for the free devotionals at PastorRick.com.
Tags
40 Days of Community – 2023, Relationships, Love, Hurt, Fear, Focus, God’s Love, Identity, Knowing God, 1 John 4, Genesis 3
Broadcast Series: 40 Days of Community – 2023
Sermon Series: 40 Days of Community
Sermon: 016203_What Destroys Relationships and What Builds Them?
