Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).
I sat in a basement playroom, in a circle of women, watching our new crawlers scoot about in the center. This group of moms and babies all had been part of a hospital class, and at our “graduation” we decided to continue meeting weekly, rotating houses. Every week I returned, hoping to discover genuine friendships as I’d left behind my closest friends after a cross-country move.
The mom chatter was going strong when I made a side comment about my husband and his cluelessness about "all things mothering." Everyone laughed. Liking the sudden attention, I continued, thinking more about the affirmation I was feeling than the direction of the conversation. The laughs kept coming, further spurring my joke-telling. It felt good to laugh, to have fun. I’d been so lonely the past few months that I relished any moment that felt like a connection.
Later, as I buckled Gabi into her car seat, I started replaying my comments in my head. They had been made in fun, but I started hearing them through the ears of people who didn’t know Derek. Would I have used the same words if he’d been in the room? How would my husband have interpreted what I'd said? I didn’t like the answers.
Driving away, I resolved to go into the group the following week with a different attitude. I would set a new tone for the conversation, one of gratitude... especially to my husband, who is doing his best at parenthood.
Lord, may my conversations honor others, especially my husband.
Written by Alexandra Kuykendall
