I once spoke with a woman who told me that she had been badly mistreated by a family member. No doubt, the injustice she had experienced has been very hurtful, and has created a mess of lies in her life that have been very difficult to untangle.
As she cried, I listened to her story and prayed to the Lord for compassion and wisdom. Then she asked, “Shana, why won’t God deliver me from the bitterness I feel? Why am I still struggling with hatred in my heart after all these years?” Again, I prayed for God’s insight. Then, she said something profound that hit me hard: “That man ruined my life.”
“There it is,” I thought. “That’s the reason she is still struggling with bitterness.” Then the Lord gave me an encouraging perspective to share with my new friend.
“What happened to you was wrong,” I said. “It never should have occurred. It was traumatizing, and it was a violation of your beauty, value and boundaries. However, I encourage you to pray over the belief that this man has ruined your life. He has not ruined your life. But if you believe he has, you have given him the power to rob your life from you.”
Have you been mistreated? Has someone wounded you deeply? Listen up, friend. If you believe you have been hurt so badly that your life has been destroyed, it will be impossible to forgive. Not only that, if you believe your future has been stolen from you, you won’t feel you can fulfill God’s purpose for you.
But here is some fantastic news: When you choose to believe that God can use any circumstance for your good and for His glory (Romans 8:28), then you will be able to let go of the pain, and nothing will be able to stop you from moving forward in God’s plans for you. You will be confident that the God who used the terror and injustice of the cross is the same God who can redeem the injustice done to you. Like Joseph, you will be able to say, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” (Genesis 50:20) That’s some great news!
Remember that your biggest heartbreak can be your biggest gift. God wants to redeem what happened to you to bless others and to glorify Him. No one can destroy your destiny. God knew what would happen to you in advance; he knew what others would do to you - and he planned your calling and the works you would do for him before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 2:10).
